Dear Friends,
I have been writing a lot lately, but not for this blog. I keep re-imagining how I want to use this blog or even if I want it at all. When I started it I wanted to imagine a new life for myself. Now I have a new life and I think the original goal doesn't make sense for a postmodern thinker. I actually should be putting my efforts into un-imagining Mary.
I don't actually believe in the concept of "self." There is no pure concept, memory, thought, or action. Everything is interpretation. Yet, is there a "me" that can be sick or well, in love or rejected, happy or sad? I'm not sure. "Me," at best is a fluid idea.
Lately I've been learning a good deal about Buddhism. Mostly it makes a lot of sense. The one problem I have so far is the concept of reincarnation. How can a self re-incarnate? Makes no sense to me at all. If I'm not Mary now, how could I be Mary in another life when my gender is male and my name is Fred? At best I would then be "Fred." Right? I'll just have to leave that part of Buddhism alone for now.
I have benefited greatly from the concept of impermanence. Everything in life, and all living things are impermanent. I learned that many years ago, but somehow forgot it when things seemed to be so rough the first three months of this year. One simple reminder and life was instantly better. Of course life changes. It is in the nature of life to change.
I thought I was ready to write about this, but it seems to be snagging tonight. I better get some rest. My mind is distracted with several things that are going on tomorrow. Perhaps after that I'll be able to clear my mind enough to write.
Good night,
Mary
New Blog
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I will be resuming blogging with a new blog, *Pineapple Sage*, over at
Wordpress. I hope you'll follow me there :)
12 years ago
2 comments:
Mary,
I'm not very-well read of Buddhism, but I'll give you my theory, which I developed after reading a little bit about a lot of things, and mostly just doing some general thinking. I agree with you. The self is fluid and changing, molding and making itself over again and again. But despite all of this, there is some essence of each of us that will never change. Call it a core, call it a soul, call it a base characteristic that makes us who we are. I call it energy. And my theory is that when we die, this energy races back to rejoin with all of the energy of the universe. And reincarnation is when our little energy ball once again separates from the whole to join a whole new set of characteristics and a whole new self and embarks on a whole new journey. Just some thoughts.
Dear Chris,
Thanks for hanging in there with me on this blog. Maybe, maybe, maybe someday I'll actually engage in this blog as I keep hoping I might.
Best wishes to you on finishing school and the next things you are doing.
Mary
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