Dear Friends,
I'm afraid Mike didn't get me a present for Christmas and I'm afraid of what that means. Is it possible to love the woman of your dreams and not get her a present for Christmas? Is it possible to be in love without buying something once in a while, at least at Christmas and birthdays? I have a whole collection of presents I got for him while I was Christmas shopping and while I was vacationing in Colorado. I got something for his son. Did he ever get me anything? Does it matter? Should it? Should I let it go? Or does it really mean everything at the end of the day? I honestly don't know. I asked him (by text) but he hasn't answsered me. A friend told me last night that clearly Mike and I don't love each other because love doesn't act like this. Perhaps that friend is right. I just don't know.
Mary
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12 years ago
2 comments:
I think it depends on why he didn't get you anything. Was he planning on doing something nice for you? Did he think that maybe you didn't want something (had you maybe said this, jokingly, and he took is seriously)? Did he just simply forget? Or did he really not care enough to go out and by you a gift?
That last one seems unlikely, especially if he's claimed to be in love with you.
I don't think the present matters, but I think the thought and the reason does.
Does that make sense?
I don't know, my own love life isn't so great either so I'm probably not the best person to give advice.
Hey Chris,
I honestly do not know if he got me a present or not. Last year we were together and he didn't. I was surprised, but let it wash away with the busyness of the season. I don't know why it is bothering me so much today. I seem to always be asking myself if I'm fooling myself or if he is really interested in a life with me. He calls or texts every day and any time I tell him I have a problem he always listens and responds. Sometimes I feel like this is the great love of my life and other times I feel like an afterthought. "Oh yeah, I have a girlfriend. Guess I should give her a call."
I blame everything on the physical distance between us. I'm sure that is a big part of it. A big part of it is my own insecurity. And then there is evidence that I mostly ignore, like whether or not he got me a gift and whether or not it matters one way or the other. I'm as confused as I can be.
Like you, I'm not really materialistic. I just want to think I matter to him as one in the inner circle. He got gifts for others. Did he get one for me? If not, why not? Why am I not included in those he remembered with a gift at Christmas? (And my birthday, actually.)
Thanks for responding, Chris. This is not something I'd want to talk about with my sister or friends.
Mary
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